Ahhh Vegas. The capital of glitz, glamour and abundant cleavage.
Virtually anything you desire, can be yours. Tigers, Dolphins, Flamingos. My oh my.
Travel around the world one casino at a time. Crepes under the Eiffel Tower for breakfast, a canal ride in Venice before lunch, stroll along the Brooklyn Bridge at sunset and party by the Sphinx under the stars.
If you don’t enjoy yourself in Sin City, you have no one to blame but yourself.
This is how we roll in Vegas.
pack
If ever there was a time to unleash your inner hoochie mamma, this is it. Necklines dip south and hemlines inch north. You can’t swing a stiletto without bumping into a Herve Leger bandage dress. We’re not in Kansas anymore Toto. This is body-con territory.
Do tread carefully. It’s a slippery slope. Dip your foot in the pool, don’t swaddle it in Lucite platforms.
Unless you are dining at a celebrity chef’s restaurant, or trying to get behind the velvet rope at a club, stick with smart casual. Think jeans, shorts, summery dresses and a take it up a notch at night.
In summer, it gets hot. Really hot. This is the desert after all. Ironically, I recommend you pack a light sweater. Casinos tend to combat the high temps with extreme air conditioning.
The best way to traverse the strip is on foot. Distances are deceptive. Walking a block to the next casino can equate to kilometres. The same principle applies once you venture inside. The walkways deliberately herd you the long way around…past the slot machines. Find a pair of comfortable shoes that don’t look like they escaped from a podiatry clinic.
getting there
Macarran International Airport is your gateway to Las Vegas. Pop a quarter in the slots while you wait at the luggage carousel, then head outside the terminal for your connection to the strip. Hail a cab for about $60, or look for Bell Trans outside Door 9. They can hook you up with all modes – shuttles, SUVs, Limos and even a Party Van.
stay
Location is critical. I recommend you stay mid strip (near the Bellagio & Planet Hollywood) or no further north than the Wynn.
Bear in mind that rates are cheaper during the week and prices skyrocket come Friday.
- TI gets the mortgage buster award. Clean, renovated rooms at a snappy price, with an enviable position adjacent to Fashion Show Mall. I apologise in advance for the tacky pirate show.
- I’m impressed by list of perks in the Prestige Luxury Suites at the Palazzo. They include access to drinks and eats in the Prestige Lounge and a private champagne check-in. Cheers to that.
- Trendsetters will be happy at the newish kid on the block, the Cosmopolitan. Check out the condo-like suites.
- Money does buy happiness in the Encore Tower @ the Wynn.
favourite experiences
- Casino hopping on the strip. Take the bus to the southern end, and make the pilgrimage north on foot. Experience sensory overload as you are transported from one OTT theme to the next.
- Relaxing by the pool. Spring break happens all year round. Can you resist the triple temptation of drinks, DJs and dancing?
- Staring in wonder at the artfully choreographed Bellagio Fountains.
- Don’t insult your taste buds with inferior buffets, the Wynn is the best in town.
- See that sculpture that looks like an enormous surfboard? Inside you’ll find two million square feet of retail space. They call it Fashion Show Mall. I call it Shopping Neverland.
- Take the shuttle into the desert to the shopper’s equivalent of Joshua Tree: Fashion Outlets of Las Vegas.
- If you have a death wish, the Tower Rides at the Stratosphere will get the adrenaline pumping.
- Feathers, sequins, T&A on parade. Jubilee is a quintessentially Vegas experience.
- I can’t get enough of Mario Batali’s Otto Enoteca Pizzeria located in St Marks Square at the Venetian. There’s not a pigeon in sight.
- Pick a show, any show. My money is on The Blue Man Group or any of the seven Cirque Du Soleil performances.
- Sip drinks with a view, 55 floors above the action, on the sky terrace at Ghostbar.
What about the Grand Canyon you ask? Truth is, when push comes to shoe – I’ll take a mall over a great big hole in the ground, every day of the week. Did I just say that out loud? Shoot.
